As we approach summer ....

or at least we hope we're approaching spring and summer - it's been a looong winter....

Just a reminder to everyone out there to use sunscreen - everyday!

I've been experimenting with a few but don't want to advertise any of them here.

I seem to be hearing more and more in the media that, aside from concerns about skin cancer,  if you want to look younger longer, wear sunscreen everyday - even on days when it's cloudy.

I won't rant and rave about the poor choices we as Canadians have (loaded with oxybenzone) because the good stuff is very expensive and truth be told, I think that even a sunscreen with oxybenzone in it is better than nothing.

Over the past 9 months or so, I've had several more spots blasted with liquid nitrogen to remove them before they get a chance to turn cancerous. The good thing is that I can recognize some of them now and get on them right away.  This of course wasn't the best news, especially after going through the Efudex treatment but my Dr. said that because skin damage is cumulative, it can take months or years for existing damage to become noticeable to the naked eye.

I suspect another round of Efudex is in my future, but I'll deal with it when the time comes.

The good thing is that I was recently told by a Dr. who deals with skin everyday that she never would have guessed I was 50. Thanks Efudex! ;-)

Final note for today: if you have access to preventative health care and or insurance, especially if you are fair skinned or have plenty of moles - ask your Dr. to refer to you a Dermatologist that can do a skin map to keep an eye on areas of concern, and/or nip things in the bud. Skin cancer and pre-cancers are very treatable if caught early. The sooner the better, with less invasive methods of treatment involved.

First time here?

You may find it easier reading about the treatment in chronological order from the beginning. There's a link to the right called "Treatment Journal from the Beginning".

(For some reason, I can't get Blogger to list entries in any order other than latest being first)


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Follow-up - 3 months after treatment finished

I went for my follow-up appointment with the dermatologist yesterday.

Every time I see him (his clinic is at a hospital) he's with an intern or Doctor in training as I see the other person first and rehash history AGAIN (which is all written in the file in front of them) and then He comes in. It's always been a different Intern/student.

I told the intern to please listen to something I had to say... and to remember it:

"If you ever have to prescribe this stuff to a patient, please, I beg you... listen to their concerns and prescribe them something for pain in case they need it, as well as something to help them sleep, I feel like I was left out there hanging and ended up taking drugs that weren't specifically prescribed to me for this condition".

"Like Tylenol 3?" He asked.

"No - like oxies left over from a back injury". He seemed surprised.

I showed him a photo taken during treatment and all he could say was "wow".

"Now you know why I was taking oxies".

So then the Dr. came in and said that I'd hit a "home run", that he couldn't see any spots that needed further attention at the moment, and to come back in 4 months.

The red patches that deepen every morning when I put sunscreen on my face will apparently fade over time. He didn't give a timeframe.... it's been 3.5 months now but I've discovered a tinted moisturizer with SPF20 in it that helps blend everything together on days when I don't want to look quite as patchy.

If you've been following from the beginning, you probably know I'm not particularly pleased with this Dr, so I have an appointment with another one in May, where I'm hoping I'm not just someone in and out of the office like a revolving door. Where you can ask questions without being given the impression that you are taking up their time, which is of course, MUCH more valuable than your time. Or if you're going through treatment you can actually speak to a human over the phone.

I've got 4 months before I see my guy again. Perhaps I'll write a letter and just give it to him and ask him to read it. That way I can make sure that he knows exactly how he could improve his practice. It's not like he's going to be less busy than he is already.

Day 39 - Healing Day 9

Okay, I'm not sure whether this is healing day 9 or 10. I seem to be a day off somewhere.

Either way, today is the first day where I'm not in any pain, though I was still flaking like a snowsquall this morning. The itching hasn't been too bad either. Mind you, as I've mentioned before, it seems to get worse in the evenings. Fingers crossed it doesn't tonight!

I didn't have to use any Aquaphor today, which is good because it really does block your pores. I used some calendula cream that I got from the homeopath. Today is the first day that I've been able to use it without it stinging.

Most of the feeling in my chin has come back and my forehead isn't feeling nearly as tight either. My face is still pretty light red/pink but it looks like I've just had a reaction to something or perhaps a bit too much sun (no comment). What a difference 6 days makes!

Day 26 - A night of torture

I can say that last night was a night I won't soon forget.

I went to bed about 10 and tossed and turned until about midnight, when my face started to feel as if someone was going at it with a blowtorch, and then fire ants had a picnic afterwards.

It was, in a word, horrific.

Who came up with this idea of a treatment?

I am in awe of anyone who has done 30 days of this.

I read somewhere recently: "its not hell, but you can see hell from here".

Very apt.

I put cold facecloths on my face and eventually broke out the ice packs and crawled into bed with them. It offered some relief, but not enough where I could fall asleep. Even my usual 2 allergy tablets, which normally knock me out - did nothing. I finally dozed off at 8:30 this am... just in time for the phone to ring at 9:15. I couldn't muster the strength to answer it.

Eventually I had to get up to put more of this stuff on my face. I did everything south of my forehead and thought "enough is enough". I can't do this anymore. I left my forehead without Efudex but put some Aquaphor on it to give it some moisture.

I eventually felt bad and put some efudex on very sparingly on top of the aquaphor. At this point, I don't know if I can tough out another two days for my face, and 5 days for my forehead.

My chin doesn't even feel like my own skin. It's thick and my dimple is almost flattened. It's so swollen I'm walking around with a perma-smirk.

Day 20/21 - Still think a tan looks healthy?

I read today that WAY back 9 days ago I said that this whole thing hadn't been as bad as I expected.

What a difference a week or so makes.

Okay, I admit it.

It is now as bad as I thought it'd be. I don't know how some patients have gone 30 days or more of doing this.

Yesterday, I was again, ready to give up. These first two photos are from Day 19. Yes, that spot to the left of my nose down towards my mouth is as cranky as it looks.

I'll be honest, the pain itself isn't what is killing me... it's that it's constant. 24 hours a day. It really wears you down.

I don't know what is in this Aquaphor stuff, but it feels

like there's sand in it when I apply it. Yes, it brings some relief, but it just dulls it.

With a bad sunburn, it lasts maybe two days and then its done (or so you think!)

If you're using Efudex for the first time, make sure you give your lips a wide berth, unless you're told to apply it to them. Two nights ago, a chunk of skin fell out near the corner of my mouth. Wow, that was painful. I'm sure it was not 100% healthy skin but I could have done without it. Perhaps once this is all over, I'll revisit applying it closer to my mouth for a few weeks. One problem area at a time. Right now everything is sore. Especially the area around my nostrils (another area you should give a wide berth to!) You know that cracking you get with a cold and blowing your nose too much? Multiply that by about 10. But much like having my experience having my wisdom teeth removed, one spot hurts more than all the others, which can be distracting. In this case, it's my forehead.

Then there are the bloody spots that are now occasionally popping up on my forehead. Those, I'm used to. I can also feel that I'm in for another big peel in a few days. The tightness is incredible, and even biting into food is, if you pardon the expression, an eye opener because you get a shooting pain from the skin on your forehead stretching. So obviously, smiling for a photo is out.

I've noticed that my nose and eye area is swollen, which may or may not be the reason my vision feels a little wonky. I recall reading about someone else with this side effect.

Tomorrow is the 3 week point (of 4) for my forehead. Two weeks for the rest of my face. By the end of another week, I expect that my entire face will be red. Every day brings a spreading of the existing red, or spots popping up on my cheeks. Strangely, the area where my moustache would be hasn't got any. Strange because I only started wearing that once I hit my 30's, after most of the sun damage would have been done (I'm guessing, based on my scalp and it being relatively clear)

One thing that has been interesting is watching how others treat you differently when you look like this. Not that salespeople these days in Canada could ever be classified as friendly, but its even worse. Putting your change on the counter rather than putting it in your hand, being very terse and not very friendly, even when they have always been before (like at the local coffee shop). People that look like they're going to hold the door for you, look back and see you coming, and then run off so as not to have to have any interaction with you at all.

Day 17 - Worst day yet

In the name of all that is holy!

Not a good day.

There are some negatives about being a bit of a pack rat/hoarder. Yes, I have a hard time throwing some things away.

However, today I'm SO glad that I kept the Tylenol 3s that I never took after having dental implant surgery. I think I'm tired because the pain is constant. It doesn't seem to come and go in waves.

I have visions of F Murray Abraham in that Star Trek movie where his facial skin is being stretched and at one point, when he gets upset, sprouts a leak from his forehead.

I've tried Aloe Gel... 99.9% pure, thinking it would help... but it did not. Stings like hell once the cooling effect wears off. I was reading somewhere today where people seem to get better relief with ointments rather than creams/gels. In the meantime, its back to cold compresses.

The worst part is the middle of my forehead, which is VERY tight, and I can tell that there is going to be some major peeling in very short order. You can't really tell in the photo, but the center of my forehead is a bit darker than the red around it. Almost a purple color. Followed by the corners of my bottom lip, which have become inflamed. I haven't been putting the stuff on my lips but its had an effect on the bottom lip.

Someone asked me today if I was wearing lip-liner.... uh, no.

I'm trying to keep a sense of perspective though... (there's that word again).

The friend of my brother and his wife - who was so ill a few weeks back, passed away on Sunday. Discovered an odd-looking mole less than a year ago. The funeral is tomorrow. I'll stop kvetching. My condolences to his wife, children and family.

Day 1

With apologies to Hello Kitty...

All the procrastinating is done. Bargaining finished. The calendar more or less cleared.

This morning, I did my first application of Efudex. Only 29 days to go!

I was awake at 4:30 am. No, I didn't do it then. Like anyone wanting to avoid the inevitable, I waited until the last minute. But I did find time to go over the literature again. Hey, I couldn't sleep anyway!

- treated area may become unsightly during treatment and in some cases for several weeks after treatment

(Yes, any of us that have seen the photos of others online can see this)

Side Effects

- skin irritation, burning, redness, dryness, pain, swelling, tenderness, or changes in skin color,

- eye irritation, trouble sleeping (as if hearing you have any kind of cancer is ever a

real ZZZ-inducer!)

- irritability (from the lack of sleep no doubt),

- temporary hair loss (meh... it could be permanent for all I care),

- abnormal taste in the mouth

For those out there that have to go through this, I know you're scared. Heck I'M SCARED. However, doing something about it is better than not doing anything and things getting worse.

I would have killed to be able to put a moisturizer on today (dry indoor air) but thats a no-no.

So I put on my gloves and spread the Efudex on. Its consistency is a little odd and its hard to get it to spread evenly. Practice will make perfect I guess. The good thing is that it doesn't appear to be greasy and doesn't appear to have any scent, pleasant or otherwise.

I think it's important to realize that everyone is different and will get a different reaction based on how much cancer/pre-cancer/AK you have on your skin.

This is part of the reason I'll be posting photos. Perhaps not everyday though. No touchups. No Photoshop blur tool, no vaseline on the lens.

The other reason is that if it can motivate anyone into wearing sunscreen to avoid having to go through this, then maybe all the angst and, according to the warnings on the label... pain, will have been worth it.

I suspect that the top of my head is going to be the worst, but I already know that it is the part that needs treatment the most.

Friends have said they don't see anything. I do. I can feel it. It feels kind of scaly...like dry skin, which is what I thought it was. This is what makes skin cancer so insidious. You either can't see it, or think its something else.

Before